There is a government Will already written for you and it is absolutely free of charge! To take advantage of this fantastic opportunity you just need to continue to do nothing about getting your Will written. Then, when the time comes everything will be sorted out for you.

Unless of course you don't like what it says..............

To my family: I hereby bequeath you several months and possibly years of hassle and financial hardship while you sort out my affairs.

To my spouse: I hereby bequeath you most (but perhaps not all) of what I own. If I am not married then I bequeath you, my partner and the mother or father of our children, absolutely nothing.

To my Children: I hereby authorise the courts in the country where you are on the date of my death to make you a Ward of the State until the state appoints Guardians for you (and perhaps put you into care or send you to a children's home while it is all sorted out). Keep your fingers crossed that I don't die in an accident while we're all traveling abroad!

To my bank, solicitor, etc: I hereby give my authority for you to charge my estate whatever you think you will for sorting out the mess I leave behind. I request you to feel free to take your time over it.

To the Tax office: If I owe you money then I give you the maximum possible amount for my estate. You may present the tax bill very quickly after my death, and demand that it is paid before the assets are released, thus giving my beloved bank the chance to make even more money out of us by giving a bridging loan to my Trustees to pay the bills.

To my godchildren, friends, old school, University, Charities and anybody else I would like to have some of my earthly goods: Sorry!

Signed on my behalf: The Government